Business Marketing and Technology

Guerrilla marketing is for wimps.  Here’s how to generate real publicity for your business:

Extreme Marketing How-To #1) The Road Warrior

1. Carjack a Hummer.
2. Carve your company logo into the tires.
3. Install a paint application system in the wheel wells that provides a thorough coating of paint to the tires.
4. Drive around where your potential customers will see you, leaving behind a very memorable and newsworthy trail to get your target audience talking about you.  Bonus points for leaving tracks on non-road surfaces.

Extreme Marketing How-To #2) The Billboard Jumper

1. Call up your local media company and rent a billboard downtown. Preferably one over a main street.
2. Hire an actor (or an actual depressed individual who doesn’t need acting skills) to stand up on your billboard and threaten to jump.
3. Talk about media attention.  Not only will your billboard be on all the local news stations, and in all the newspapers, but you might even escape jail time by saying you had nothing to do with it.

Extreme Marketing How-To #3) The Low-Flying Banner

1. You’ve seen those planes dragging banners near football stadiums on game day – hire an out-of-work pilot (since it’s the off-season) to drag your banner – 20 feet off the ground.
2. He’ll probably be moving too fast for the news vans to catch up to him, so you’ll have to have him circle their stations so they can get a good shot.
3. Bonus points if he throws prizes and treats for those he comes within inches of running over.  Double bonus points if those prizes and treats are sharp, or distributed with a machine gun.

Happy April 1st, everyone!   Contribute your own Extreme Marketing Methods by leaving a comment!

Related posts:

1. Guerrilla Marketing on the Internet – Brain Dump